SE7EN-X: The IRC Assclown Magnet 
From time to time people will join the #Vancouver Chatroom on undernet from different countries. Usually early in the morning because it's dinner time or evening in these far away magical countries. These are the times when I can usually be found online myself. Slaving away over a hot html editor. Now these people most often than not speak very very little English. Now I don't know if it's the lure of my nick <SE7EN-X> being in all capitals that attracts these assclowns to me, or perhaps there is even an actual fucking law pertaining to me that I don't know about; but it has ALWAYS been that these people will message ME first, and ask me a thousand questions. Recently I was delighted by the non english stylings of one ELCAON. Below is his quick and humorous private message log to me. Enjoy, grab a snack and get ready for a little giggling. I give you the mIRC delight I like to call:
  "El Spandexos can no speaka da  Sevexo"

Keep in mind this is the third or fourth night that this special little someone messaged me out of the blue. I rarely talk back but he seems to enjoy typing to me for hours without any response. I think it's my winning personality.

Session Start: Wed Jan 09 02:31:20 2002
 <ELCAON> hello seven
 <SE7EN-X> sup
 <ELCAON> sup??
 <ELCAON> what is sup??
 <SE7EN-X> exactly.
 <ELCAON> do you live in vancouver?¿
 <ELCAON> sorry i dont understand
 <ELCAON> i need learn english

I posted this to channel because... well it was just too good to pass up for spoon fed consumption. Here is a sampling of some of the response.
<SE7EN-X> if they dont speak english, they ALWAYS MESSAGE ME
 <SE7EN-X> [02:31] <ELCAON> hello seven
 <SE7EN-X> [02:31] <SE7EN-X> sup
 <SE7EN-X> <ELCAON> sup??
 <SE7EN-X> <ELCAON> what is sup??
 <SE7EN-X> <SE7EN-X> exactly.
 <Pv> hahaha
 <Nellis> baha good one SE7EN-X
 <SE7EN-X> heh
 <Extec> SE7EN-X - You rock.
 <ELCAON> sup is food??
 <ELCAON> i dont understand
 <jenix> ELCAON: sup is a slang word for "whats up".
 <jenix> yeesh.
 <ELCAON> :....(
 <BumFluff> s'up
 <jenix> haha
 <ELCAON> ok sup=whats up??
 <jenix> ELCAON: exactly.
 <ELCAON> thanks jenix
 <BumFluff> yes
 <ELCAON> i am mexican
 <ELCAON> i need information of vancouver
 <ELCAON> i want to studiy in vancouver

Seems the show is a hit. I Might try and get Andrew Lloyd Webber to put together a little Broadway act based on my efforts. I smell A Tony award.

 
Something from the archives. Fake, but funny.
<Cute_Girl> Let me get this straight Sevy, yer 32 years old and
                   you read spiderman comics in the bathtub?
<SE7EN-X> What??? no WAY!! Hahah are you crazy?
<Cute_Girl> Ok phew, You had me scared there.
<SE7EN-X>  Ha ha ha no doubt huh? I would NEVER read any    
                   of my comics in the bathtub. You would totally ruin the pages. Only an idiot would do something as stupid as that.
*** Cute_Girl Quit (You sir, are a freak)