 Zoolander
Review
[Friday.Sept.28.2001]
Ben Stiller Attempts to
make a Clueless meets Austin Powers
Vehicle that fails miserably. In my opinion anyway. This movie didn't
suck, but it didn't exactly hit the targets it was aiming at either.
Here is my first problem with this movie. It's obvious the powers that be
in Hollywood
thought that Ben Stiller could have pulled off an Austin Powers type
franchise and that's why they gave him the money. After all, Stiller not
only acted and starred in this film, but he wrote and directed it as
well, so at least we know who to point the finger at. I do want to say
something before I go and mangle this movie so badly that you'll have
to check it's dental records to identify it.
Zoolander isn't a BAD movie. In fact, it is entertaining,
and I bet most people would enjoy it. There are a lot of good laughs to
be had and overall it's a fun way to spend a few hours. But I am
reviewing Zoolander the "movie"
and I think on that level, it misses it's mark in more ways than one. I
don't think that this movie could be better, I think this movie should
never have been made in the first place. Ben Stiller is better than
this movie, and that he should have put his talent and energy into
something a little more creative, and funny.
Zoolander originally came from a few skits that were used as
filler on the VH1 Fashion
Awards a few years back. Like I said earlier, I think what
Stiller was going for in this movie was an Austin Powers type of
feel. The first problem with trying to
copy the Austin Powers formula, is that Austin Powers was
not even the real star of those movies, it was Dr. Evil, and I am sure
as smart as Mike Myers was, even he didn't foresee that when he started
on the first script. As was evident when Dr. Evil had a much larger
role in the second movie. In Zoolander
we find ourselves Very Dr. Eviless. Sure we have a half ass attempt at
a bad guy from Will Ferrel who I think is a comedy genius on SNL
but he's yet to pull off a funny character on the big screen. Maybe
that isn't what was intended here, or just maybe they thought they had
an actual original idea. I'm just a tad tired of these Hollywood formula movies.
I've been to Hollywood. I've sat in the offices of the big agents. I've
met a lot of actors and "movie stars" in my line of work. And although
I can't even begin to pretend I understand what's going on out there on
the west coast, I will tell you this. Hollywood is run by maybe 20
people, and the people that greenlight most of the movies that we all
see, don't even watch them. They are more interested in their bank
account than they are in creating original artistic films. They could
give a SHIT about creative freedom. I'm sure Ben Stiller is knee deep
in this bullshit and he thought, "I'll collect a cool 7-10 million on
this picture, get a directing credit, and move on to better things".
Who can blame him for that? But in the land where you are only as good
as your last movie, he's the fall guy on this movie, and his
fingerprints are all over it.
To
be fair, the people in the theatre were all laughing in the right
spots, and they did seem to be laughing harder than I thought they
should be. But opening weekend crowds are usually in better moods and
more forgiving then your usual gathering of box office sheep. If you are the type of person who likes over the top
ridiculous humor,
such as that in Adam Sandlers Waterboy, then this movie is for
you. There is nothing wrong with that flavor of film, just personally I
am sick of seeing an actual talented and funny
actor playing a complete Slapnut on the screen. Not a harmless
loveable Woody from Cheers type slapnut, but someone who is so
hapless and unlikable that they make Phoebe from friends look like
Albert Einstein with the looks of Chasey Lain [a little inside joke for
the homeboys]. When I have to suffer through someone with an obviously fake voice
straining, slurring, spitting and drooling for 2 hours on screen
like a hemorrhoid after a 10 hour car ride, and they want me to laugh?
Well kids, I get REAL AGITATED. They insult your intelligence by hoping
you'll find this believable.
Well in Zoolander, we got to see Stiller act like
Snow Whites Dopey dwarf through the entire film and it makes you want
to bean Stiller in the head with a piece of lumber. I'm sure this movie will pull in $20 or $30
million for Ben and his crew, but I hope that's ALL it takes in. I
don't want to see a Zoolander 2: Electric
Boogaloo. I will say this however. Owen WIlson, Yer a
funny son of a bitch. Owen was MAD funny in this movie. He
has a way of making you believe that he is actually that stupid. He
doesn't do it with a fake voice or over extended mannerisms. He just
sort of plays himself, but acts like he really just has no concept of
anything. Well I guess that's why they call it acting. It's a real pleasure to watch him.
The interaction between Ben Stillers character and that of Owen Wilsons
is actually fun to watch, but not worth the price of admission. Owen
Wilson is an underrated character actor and it's a lot of fun to see
him put in a performance. Ben has to actually change his voice and the
way he acts just to play his character and it just doesn't work for me. I
would like to say though, that I am in fact a Ben Stiller fan. I've
gone to all his movies, even Mystery Men, just to see his
stuff. I've always liked his work, just not in
this movie.
Also, I think it's fair to say that Hollywood is NOT learning the
lesson that funny people playing the parts of complete and utter IDIOTS
is NOT box office gold. Sure Waterboy with Adam Sandler made some good
money, but when he tried to duplicate that success in
Little Nicky, the fans weren't there to help out. Fool me once,
shame on you, fool me twice, I want my money back. Other Classic box office failures
involving this type of assmonkey include BlankMan and Major
Payne, both of which put a violent end to Damon Wayans and his
rising star career. Hey did ya see Freddy Got Fingered? What? no?
Exactly!
I give Zoolander a generous 4 out
of 10.
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