 Tomb
Raider
June.15.2001
Well my god in heaven where do I start? Well as a friend of mine
on ICQ said. His review of this movie is, and I quote:
Wildcard:
"my entire review is "boing
boing boing" you can quote me on that. there wasn't anything else in
the movie"
Having said that... well this movie was just horrible, and to
make matters worse, I went to this movie expecting it to be bad.
So I thought maybe I'll be surprised and it will be fun, I mean, it
couldn't be worse than Blair Witch 2 right? It made no sense, the plot
was weak. I mean I think the plot was weak, I'm still trying to piece
it together. I can go on and on about how bad it is but why waste the
time? Actually, yeah let's waste some more time. You know when you see
a movie that's bad, but you can forgive it because overall, it was
entertaining? Such as bad characters or plot holes, or a gladiator
wearing a Timex. Just as long as at the end of the film, you were
entertained. Well this movie was NOT entertaining. In one scene there
is a large swinging pillar, which would weigh I would guess about 10-15
tons? Well a giant monster is coming after Lara Croft, what does she do? She
boots the swinging pillar altering it's 10 ton course to do the
necessary damage to stop the oncoming magical bad guy. I will say this
tho. Angelina Jolie was good in this movie. She played it to the hilt.
She was fun, serious and campy at the same time. You took her
serious in the role. Yeah she's fun to look at, and cute, sexy etc, but
she's a really good actress, she kicked some ass in this movie. She was
handing people their asses in some scenes, really kicking butt, and you
believed that she could beat up some bad guys twice her size, she just
made it believable. She sort of reminded me of a Batman type character,
but without the cowl and the cool car. She would of made a good
Batgirl, but I think that franchise is taking a much needed nap anyway.
Unfortunately for the movie... everyone else just plain sucked. If they
do a sequel, which I am sure they will... as long as they get a good
director and a decent story, then THAT might be a good movie but they
missed their chance here. Until then... avoid this movie at all costs.
If a movie is bad but at least enjoyable, I would recommend it, but
this movie isn't even enjoyable. I talked to my pal Lee tonight on the
phone and he went with his wife and friend and they agree. It at least
starts out good, but it slooooowly dies. I was looking forward to
seeing Jon Voight in this movie, but he got less screen time than the
Rock did in The Mummy Returns. Although... you may enjoy this
movie. I was in the #vancouver channel in irc on undernet tonight and
Veronika9 said she enjoyed it and I think generally she has good
taste. So it might just be that me and my friends have similar
opinions. After all, opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.
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