 Evolution
[June.5.2001]
I received a free sneak preview pass to the
movie from the good people at Golden Age Collectables on Granville
Street in Vancouver B.C. Be sure to stop by and say hi and spend all
your hard earned cash on all the Planetary, Hellboy and Authority
comics you can get your hands on. Just for shits and giggles here's my
guest pass to the movie
Front of the pass
Back of the pass
Well it's 4:07 am.
I've been working all night on my "other" websites so I
thought.. Well I better get around to writing this review. God forbid
the 2 people that read this site go without hearing what I think about
a movie they'll never go see. I went with my favorite girl Violet, she
really enjoyed the movie as well... although I think she enjoyed my
popcorn even more. since she ate all of it... I don't think they feed
her at home or something. [That's a joke Violet, please hurt me] Well let's start with the main
characters.
David Duchovny - Ira Kane
I have to admit. Duchovny did a great job. We're not talking
oscars here, but he FINALLY has shown us that he can break free from
his role of walking around with a partner and investigating aliens and
strange creatures that might take over the world... oh shit wait, wait
hold on a second. 
In all seriousness. This is a great role for Duchovny, I don't know if
he planned it or not, but although this role was close to the Fox
Mulder he plays on X-files, the actual character Ira Kane was
100% different. Instead of doing what most actors who break from tv to
movies try and do, he tries a different approach. Let me explain. Most tv
actors fall over themselves playing characters on the big screen that
are 100% different than their signature tv character like they have
something to prove to us. They want us to know that they can play other
parts and they have diversity. Well sorry you guys but the movie going
audience isn't stupid. we KNOW you can act, otherwise you wouldn't be
on NYPD Blue or X-Files or Cheers. Don't try and
prove something to the people who already believe you. In this
particular movie, Duchovny just has a little fun. He shows us he can do
other things but without shocking the shit out of us by playing Batman
or something else that would leave a bad taste in our mouth. cough cough Shelly Long/Carol Brady cough
Julianne Moore - Allison Reed
Well guess what. Moore can play any role she wants. She can
chase Dr. Hannibal "The Cannibal" Lecter, She can play a
selfish drug addict who marries for money and actually DOES have
feelings in Magnolia. She shows us her breasts in Boogie
Nights and still keep her integrity intact [thanks by the way - I
have my dvd on the shelf] And here we are, in Evolution, where she
effortlessly plays comedy and pulls it off. I don't have much
more to say other than Julianne Moore takes what normally would have
been a cardboard cut out love interest role in a summer film and makes
the character Allison Reed interesting, funny, and giving her a
few goofy clumsy traits that make her scenes that much more ha ha.
Orlando Jones - Harry Block
This mother fucker is funny. I don't know how else to say it. I
don't want to sit here and compare him to other black comedians because
I hate when reviewers do crap like that. But he did play "the funny black guy"
in this movie. He plays the scared black guy who dies in the beginning
of these types of movies but for some reason in this movie... he
doesn't die [he even says that in the film]. He's playing the guy on
star trek who wears the red shirt on an away team. But somehow, through
some miracle, survives the start of the movie, finds his courage, and
makes us laugh through the whole hour and a half or so of the movie. I have to add tho, that he was
so much more than comic relief. This movie would not have been as good
without him. Chris Tucker was supposed to be the next big thing, but
while we waited for Chris to get off his ass and make another movie
after Rush Hour,
Orlando Jones was working his ASS off. From 7-Up tv ads to Mad
TV to little seen movies like Double Take, Orlando has been
trying to get his foot in the door. Well it's firmly planted in the
door of the summer of 2001. Orlando Jones, in my opinion is the next
big thing. Sorry Chris Tucker, see ya later Chris Rock, there's a new
movie star in town. This summer there will be hundreds of thousands of
people laughing and rolling in the aisles when they hear Harry Block tell
an eager doctor who can only be called Dr. Jelly Finger that
"THERE IS ALWAYS TIME FOR LUBRICANT
Seann William Scott - Wayne Green
Stifler - American Pie. Every single one of my friends, male and
female, all knew a Stifler in high school. LIke only Michael J Fox
could of played Marty McFly in Back to the Future, Only Seann William
Scott could have played Stifler , and only Seann could have played
Wayne Green in Evolution . This character was hilarious. He should have
had more screen time, and hopefully the dvd will have a bunch of cut
scenes with him in them, but man, this movies cherry on the top was
Seann. My Buddy Dylan asked me on icq tonight, "Does that dude
play that Stifler role just like he did in American Pie, and
basically did in Road Trip, and basically did in Dude where's
my car?" I said, "yeah", he goes... "Good, then
I'm going to go see it for sure" He's
the friend we all have, his facial expressions, his timing, his lack of
concern if he looks cool on screen or not is just plain awesome. There
is another new kid on the block in theatres this summer, Josh Hartnett.
He's in Pearl Harbor, but while he walks around with a very serious
look on his face trying to make sure the camera captures his good side,
Seann William Scott looks like he combed his hair with a balloon. He's
giggle your ass off funny, and I bet the ladies are going to love him
because he doesn't take himself too serious and he's got that look. I
didn't see Dude Where's My Car, I just didn't have the courage to sit
through that, although I will rent it or watch the DiVX. Seann, if
you're our there, gimme a call, we'll go do a couple of shots of
tequila at some bar in LA and try and get people to pull our finger.
Anyway, all in all, this movie was
pretty good. I recommend it. Check it out while we all wait for Tomb
Raider and Planet of the Apes. I really wanna see Swordfish
with Travolta and Hugh "wolverine" Jackman, but... sigh.. I
just know it's prolly goinna suck. What can ya do? Tell ya what.. go
see Evolution. You probably won't see it twice, but the special effects
alone are worth the cash, the acting is good, the plot isn't goinna
make you do handstands, but all the good stories have already been told
anyway. Besides some of us didn't get our Duchovny fill on X-Files this
year so here's yer big chance. Best line of the movie is when Orlando
Jones Tells David Duchovny "We have to tell the goverment about
this" and David says "No, we can't, I know those people"
Ok I'm goinna go read my latest issue of Kevin Smiths the Green Arrow
and dream of Blue Turtles.
Clint
Vander Klok
[Remember - Wherever ya go - There ya are]
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